(texting)
Duane: Go check eggs and close the coop.
Michael: So senior
Duane: You probably wanted to say “sí señor” rather than insult my age.
Michael: Oopsies

Duane: Michael, come here.
(No response. Headphones must be in.)
Duane (texting): Michael, come here.
(Drops Google Maps pin for location)

Dad, you have good taste in women.

Guided prayer on the screen at church spoke of the dignity of everyone, “Black and White.” When my son leaned over to say something to his friends, a Black classmate and a White neighbor, I knew he was saying, “What about Brown?” (The prayer went on to include “every color and shade.”)

Duane: What shape is your room in?
Michael: A square.

Duane: Recite the verse.
Michael: [Recites our verse about uplifting words.]
Duane: Where is it found?
Michael: On the whiteboard.

Michael to William (playfully): You can’t be the favorite if you’re dead.

Erika: Say something nice to your brother.
Michael: You look slightly above average.

Discussing state shapes: Colorado looks like a U-Haul box.

Michael informed us that Kanye’s new album was about to “drop.”
In our parents’ days, when albums “dropped” they “broke.”

Text from Michael: “Hey Dad, just reminding you I wouldn’t want any other dad.”

Michael to William: This is my motivational speech to you, I guess. Girls go for personality more than for abs. When you are interested in girls, like maybe in middle school, the girls will go for you. You’re kind, you’re sweet.

Michael wants to volunteer to count votes next election to “contribute to my country.”

Michael, to Duane on the roof stringing Christmas lights: “I don’t want to be mean, but I’m concerned about you doing that because you’re old and frail.”

Michael: I was the favorite child for 5 years.
William: And I have been the favorite for 7 years.

Michael’s birthday prayer: As I become a teenager, help me to see You in me.

William: Dad, Michael called me Donald Trump!
Michael: I’m just kidding. You’re Hillary Clinton.

I love you, Dad. Keep being the best dad in the world.

After assisting with carpet cleaning and then cleaning the mower deck, Michael said, “Thanks for teaching me to work, Dad.”

Michael asked Duane at breakfast which of the boys I would rescue from lava if only one could be saved. Nope. We don’t answer questions like that. Sorry.

Hearing William waking up: “Oh, no. Here comes calamity”

After getting paid for some yard work: “We. Are. Rich!”

I’ve been praying for my (hospitalized, great-) uncle every day. I even took time to pray for him at recess today.

Michael helped William learn AWANA verses on the way to church and didn’t put his book back into his bag. On the way home… “William, I’m sorry. I take full responsibility for not putting your book back in your bag.”

Some people aren’t interested in the Super Bowl. Those aren’t God’s people!

(praying): Please help the poor and help those who are already rich to help the poor because it’s the right thing to do.

Mom, tell dad to shave his beard. He only listens to you.

Dad, you and Mom have had an 11-year sleepover.

(nonchalantly) “I really love my brother. But sometimes I wish I could punch him in the face.

The boys did a great job behaving at the 9 pm slot for a 24-hour prayer chain at church. One man said, “After your son prayed, I didn’t want to pray anymore. What could I say after that?”

I won’t stop telling people about God until the whole world has heard. I don’t care if they take my life!

Prayer for our neighbor who passed away days later: “Thank you for giving us a home and that we don’t have to have forever death but that you give us eternal life.

A prayer at breakfast: Thank you for my life with friends I can trust.

Michael: A widow is a woman who breaks up with her husband.
Duane: No. A widow is a woman whose husband has died.
Michael: Then Abuelo is…
Duane: A widower. A man whose wife has died is called a widower.
Michael: So he is more than a widow. He’s a widowER.

While watching the news (rare in our house) Michael said longingly, Dad, I want a good president.

Mom, where’s my nozzle spray? (nasal spray)

Bedtime prayer: Help us in the dark times. We know you are powerful and you hold us in your hands.

Michael’s costumed character just told arch villain William’s costumed character, “You’re not a superhero. You’re a super zero!”

Michael baptized his brother in the name of Jesus in the bathtub to show him what it was like to be baptized. William is a Rebaptizer because he keeps coming up and saying, “Again!”

Give us your courage for the dark times. Give us your love when we need to treat others better. Give us your guidance so we know where to go. Give us your peace so we won’t be afraid.

William: Daddy, Michael called me a doof.
Duane: But you called him a doof too. Do you want me to discipline him?
William: Yes.
Duane: Then I’ll have to discipline you too.
Michael: Karma!

I love football. I was born to play football.

Erika: What are you grateful for?
Michael: the outdoors and my school

Michael to William: If you’re going to have a wife, you need to work.

You’re the best dad a kid could ask for. I know other kids say the same thing, but you’re the real one.

Looking at his “sideburns” in the mirror: I look like Elvis
Erika: How do you know who Elvis is?
Michael: He’s the guy who did the songs in Hawaii.

Dear God, help Meadow [dog] be a dream come true instead of a nightmare.

Michael: Dad, ask me a times question.
Duane: How many times have I told you not to shout in the car?
Michael: That never gets old, Dad.

Dunking doesn’t make you righteous. Believing Jesus makes you righteous.

Michael: It’s 8:01
Duane: Time for decent people to be out of bed.
Michael: I’m not a decent person.

Thank you for being a unique dad. God knew what he was doing when he gave you to me.

Dad, you’re like Daniel Tiger’s dad because you are always on task.

God is not a little piece. He’s the biggest piece. And we all need him.

(looking at a black and white photo of Duane): Dad, is this in the time of black and white?

If I was 18 I would vote for Marco Rubio because Dad read his book and I learned a lesson.

A saying for our family: Pay more attention to the future than the past.

Lord, thank you for William in almost every way.

Mommy, I love you more than anything, except my technology.

So I was your first bundle of joy?

Lord, bless the ones who helped us move into the house. Help them to see that they helped you and that they helped us. Give them joy.

Mom, you know why girls are attracted to men with muscles? So they can protect them.

Duane: Michael, what was that noise?
Michael: It was a thud.

Help mommy with her anger problem. (Mommy was having a bad day and asked for prayer for her headache and bad attitude.)

One day I want to do something with hundreds or thousands of people. It might be a risk, but I want to tell them about God.

(After watching the Acts section of “The Bible” on Easter.)
Michael: I want to ask God into my life.
Duane: Didn’t you already ask him into your life?
Michael: I asked him into my heart. Now I want to ask him into my life. (And he did, on Good Friday.)

I want to start an organization called ‘I am who I am.’ I want people to learn not to be bad but to be like God and to serve him.

When you’re older you’ve got bigger brains.

I want to make a team of people that takes Bibles to not just tell people about God, but to help them learn to read.

I don’t want to take a shower. Can we cancel?

Michael: What does ‘decent’ mean?
Duane: Where did you see it?
Michael: On the note you wrote to Mommy that said, ‘Let’s put the kids to bed at a decent time tonight.
Duane: Oh, it means ‘reasonable’ or ‘good’.
Michael: You were just trying to be romantic, right?

I love you, but I don’t really feel it in my heart.

This is my goal for 2015: I’m going to use less technology.

Me and William are so blessed to have you guys [parents]. Math instructions: Explain how you got your answer.

I used my coco [head].

In reaction to his mom’s fear in the car: Mommy, you’ve got to learn to be a man.

William is so blessed to have a brother like me.

I love the feeling of wiggly teeth. It makes you so excited that they’re coming out. It means you’re growing up fast.

Smell my armpit of doom!

[After permission to have a piece of candy:]
Michael: You’re the best dad ever.
Duane: Is that because I let you have candy?
Michael: No, it’s not just that. It’s because you give us money for things from working.

Thank you for working so hard to provide for us. I really appreciate it.

[Praying] Thank you for a dad and mom who love me. But most of all, thank you that I have you in my heart.

Help the people who don’t have you in their hearts.

It’s glorious when I don’t have to go to school.

William, I love you. You just don’t know how much I love you. But God loves you more than I do, ’cause you’re his creation.

Christmas isn’t just about presents. It’s about family.

I don’t want to play football for the money. I just want to play for fun on a pro team. The Jaguars or the Titans or the Broncos. [Michael won a jersey from our men’s pastor, a former Jaguar. The TCA Titans are his school team. And the Broncos are just awesome.]

God, help William to grow into a strong man of God.

Yuck, that’s gross! [A reaction to any kiss between Dad and Mom.] Michael: [Shouting something in the car.]

Erika: Don’t shout!
Michael: I was asking a question.
Erika: No, you were shouting.
Michael: I said it with the exclamation mark coming out of my mouth.

Michael: Daddy, have you ever said bad words?
Duane: Yes
Michael: Which ones?
Duane: Bad ones.

Dad, I’m sorry for my attitude this morning. I’ll try to do better.

Thank you for being a good dad and going to work to earn money, not just so I can have toys but so we can have a nice home.

Thank you for forgiving me and disciplining me so I know what is the right way to act.(Father’s Day, 2014)

Michael: I wish I were born in 2001.
Erika: Why?
Michael: So I could live in the olden days.

Michael: How much is that toy?
Duane: $25.19, but then there are taxes.
Michael: What are taxes?
Duane: Money the government takes to run the country.
Michael: I hate the government.

I’m just like God because I wished it would snow and it did. Isn’t that amazing? I’m a genius. There’s snow everywhere…except New Orleans.

Bed time prayer: I have a grandpa that takes me fishing and a grandpa who plays baseball with me. Thank you for my two grandpas.

Erika: Honey, you’re freezing!
Michael: That’s why I’m hugging you–to hot me up.

Holding a fussing, hungry William: I don’t have the objects you’re looking for.

Dad and mom kissed at the supper table.
Michael hid his eyes and said, “Oh that’s awful. That pains my stomach.”

I want to name the baby. His name will be Pipsqueak.

Skelebones (skeletons)

Lord, show me the way and the path to your heart.

“Go red guys!” (Michael was cheering on the L. A. Clippers instead of the Denver Nuggets because of their uniform color.)

In response to some ladies ogling high fashion: Clothes are not fantastic, you just wear them.

Mommy and Daddy, I’ve failed you. I didn’t include “no,” just “yes” and “wait.”

I wanted to be a man of God.

When the clouds move God is opening the gates of heaven.

This game is [rated E] for E-nagers.

When told to eat: You’re not giving me grace.

Duane: Be careful, I’m fragile.
Michael: No, you’re soft.

How ’bout Grampa can be a scientist and make potions. He can be a scientist because scientists are smart and can do lots of things.

When we drive that makes wind.

Who wants to hear my dream? It’s a little bit freaky and a little bit funky and a little bit creepy.

I don’t need to learn karate. I have something stronger in my heart…God!

Michael was antagonizing his dad when he hurt his foot.
His response was a cheery “Looks like God teached me a lesson!”

When Michael heard that he was going to have a brother he exclaimed, “I’m going to have a baby!”

He said he was going to teach him everything and that he was going to “teach him how to do friendship.

One day he was explaining how small the baby was by stating, “He’s a bean.”

Erika: Who knows if the baby is a boy or a girl.
Michael: God knows.

Michael: I want to go into outer space. I want to go to the moon. What do I need to do to go the moon?
Erika: Well, you need to study…
Michael: I already studied. I drew a picture of a rocket so I already know how to go.

Michael wanted to know why the “telephone cord” (umbilical cord) was attached to the baby.

After trying to explain a little about heaven: I will play checkers with the angels!

What happens at day zero?

On his hairstyle: I want it to be like a Rock n Roll.

Erika: Are you happy you’re going to have a baby brother or sister?
Michael: Yes. Can I see it?
Erika: No honey, because it’s inside.
Michael: Can you take it out?
Erika: No, because it’s too little.
Michael: And you’ll lose it?

Michael: Is there cilantro in this?
Erika: Yes, there is. How did you know?
Michael: Because I’m a genius.

Michael came to the side of the bed one morning and asked Duane to pray for the sick people. When Duane began to pray for people we knew that were sick Michael said, “No, pray for the little girl with no hair and a round head.” (He had seen a commercial about a child with cancer the night before.)

Help the people who want to know you, but don’t know about you.

Help the missionaries in Turkey to tell the people who don’t know about you, so that the color can go from red to yellow. (Joshua Project progress scale colors.)

After his Bible story, his book story and prayers, Michael almost always hugs dad and says, “Daddy, you’re so precious to me.’

Michael decided he had to be quiet in the car because “Daddy needs to consecrate.”

Michael saw the progress scale on the Joshua Project website and exclaimed: “It’s almost green! They’re getting to know God!”

Praying after Bible reading: The true book is about You and not about craziness.

Duane: Michael, do you want to go to the store with me?
Michael: No thanks, but thanks for offering.

You cook very well for us Mama, I’m very impressed.

Erika (in Spanish): What’s Daddy’s name?
Michael (giggling): Mexico
Erika: That’s not right!
Michael: I just can’t control myself.

Praying about the shooter in the theater in Aurora, CO: “You made him to be good. He made bad decisions. Help him make good decisions.”

You’re the best daddy that God designed.

After watching a game at the stadium where the Broncos play, “I hate the Seahawks!”

I don’t want Tim Tebow to be with the Jets. This is so mean. I want to punch the coach in the face. That’s terrible, Daddy. That’s not good.

When Michael found out that Tim Tebow was traded to the Jets by Elway, he cried bitterly for 10 minutes. He said about Elway, “Someone needs to put him in Jail.” He asked Duane to call the police and have them “under arrest him.”

Impromptu song lyrics occasioned by the story of the Golden Calf: “When you build a pig you say, ‘This is my god.’ well God doesn’t like that at all.”

We need to praise Jesus and we need to trust God. Jesus is God. God will never let go of us.

Mommy, turn the calendar around. I don’t like new days.

God, I love you and you can always give me new toys. I love new toys.

Michael wanted to send photos so that Grandpa and Grandma would “be so happy of us.” He said, “They are gonna say ‘awww."”

Mommy, I want to give you a hug. A big squeezy hug.

I don’t need to go pee. I’m not shaking.

Grandpa and Grandma gave me a pinwheel but it floated away to the sky. But God is gonna bring it back when he comes here. God is special to me.

I don’t have to eat healthy stuff because I’m strong.

Michael pointed at a cut mango and asked, “Is that decomposing?”

Daddy, do you know why I love you so much? Because you are so nice to everyone.

Mommy, you can watch your program in your room. That will be very nice.” (Michael wanted to watch his own movie on the bigger screen TV.)

Michael asked Erika something and didn’t like her answer.
He said, “Mommy, if you don’t have a good attitude I will put a sad face in your chart that I will make for you. But if you change your attitude, I will put a happy face in your chart, ok?

I have sprinkles in my leg.” (when his leg fell asleep)

Michael: Dream about loving and food.
Duane: Loving and food?
Michael: Yeah, food and loving one another.

Mommy, I’ll never ever let go of you.

I’m a little pastor. When I grow up I’m gonna be a big pastor.

I’m gonna be late for playing. I’d better go.

Superheroes don’t get spankings!

Mommy, see if there’s money or any flowers in this boot.” (Michael had put a rubber mouse in it.)

You need to call me ‘Spiderman Michael’

Call God to give me a brother.

God, I hope you have a good day at work.

When I grow up I want to talk about God.

Michael brought us a train and asked, “Can he be custom painted?”

When asked “Do you get mad or do you ask for help?”
Michael responded honestly: “I get mad.”

This is God’s house where we praise God. And God has the sword of His message.

During a Broncos game Michael decided he would pray for victory after half-time.
He said, “Jesus, please help the Broncos win. You’re running out of time, but please help the Broncos win.

Mikey told Duane one morning that he had an older son named Tim. It took a while to recall that during a Broncos game Duane was shouting at Tim Tebow, “That’s my boy! That’s my boy!’

Daddy, I love you. You are good to me.

God is really happy of you. God is happy.

Michael was looking at a kid’s encyclopedia. When he opened it up and saw a dinosaur, he exclaimed, “Yikes! They killed everybody.”

” want to play wrapping paper scissors. (Paper, rock, scissors)

Do horses go fast? But cows go slower, right?

Daddy, you can go to work today. I’ll give you permission.

Michael describes being hungry as “My tummy was bubbling.”

One day Michael patted Duane’s belly and inquired: “Daddy, what do you have in there?”

After decorating for the holidays Michael exclaimed, “It’s Christmas here!”

Michael teases us constantly, saying “Te amo poquito.” (I love you a little bit.) We make a big fuss and tickle him until he says, “Te amo mucho.”

Michael made up a story about Christmas elves in which “They rackled and sneeded and pumpered.” (Do you detect a Dr. Seuss influence?)

In a story he invented a character named Appley Jump.

Mommy, with you everything is ‘eat.’

God, help Daddy’s eye not to hurt or I’m gonna be really mad.

Sometimes Duane can work easily from home. When we asked whether Michael wanted Daddy to stay home and work or go to the office and work, he said, “I don’t want to choose a choice.”

My legs are cold so I need hot cocoa to warm them up.

How does a child sort out truth from humor and playing around? Michael always asks “Are you just joking?”

Michael and dad were “going to vote”. When we got to the polling place he looked all around and said, “I want to go in the boat.”

Michael woke up to Erika’s snoring and said, “Mommy was making noise. Mommy scared me.”

Michael sent daddy off to work this morning saying, “I love you, Daddy. God bless you.”

Michael was cheering on the U.S. soccer team by waving an American flag and chanting, “Mexico, Mexico”

Michael often makes a suggestion and then ends it with “Is that a deal?”

Daddy, I want to tell you a story that’s not from a book.

When we told Michael his cousins were coming “tonight” he wanted them to come sooner. He said he wanted them to come “tomorning.”

Michael: Dad, God is in my belly.
Duane: You mean in your heart?
Michael: Yeah, in my heart and in my belly. My teacher said.”

Daddy, I want to be just like you when I grow up. (Yes, there were tears in Daddy’s eyes.)

Duane: We’re going to see the leaves.
Michael: Are we going to investigate?

Michael came and gave us smooches. He shouted “Kisses!” and marched back out to watch his cartoon.

At the wedding reception of some friends: “I’m going to bubble them.”

I want to give Tyler a Green Lantern and Hannah a War Machine.” (I’m sure Hannah will be pleased…)

Because Erika always says he is God’s gift to us: “Am I your present? Did you open me?”

I don’t want to go potty no more!

While being disciplined: “Be quiet! There’s people downstairs!

In Jesus’ name, okay.

When everyone was getting out of the car, Michael repeated what Mommy would often say: “Get your son.”

I wanna watch my pogram.

Every morning for several months: “Don’t go to work with Dan and Bill!’

I’ve lost my sisters. (scissors)